Now Available!

“A new book written by the founder of Men Living Up that tells the story of his early exposure to his father's stash of pornography. Little did he know the impact this was going to have on his life...

Here's and excerpt from pp. 69,70 desribing the power of the brain chemistry and addiction...

When I’m asked how strong sex addiction is, I refer to the brain chemistry. Understanding that my brain had been rewired by the thousands and thousands of images helped me understand the mechanics of my behavior. I began to understand how masturbation and orgasm had been the needle in my arm reinforcing every sexual act. My brain had been altered to crave the images, the excitement, and the lure of each secret encounter. With each bout of depression, anxiety, frustration and fear, I would need another “fix” to find internal brain chemical balance.

How strong is this connection in my brain? Think of it this way... each time a person acts upon a sexual impulse or views pornography, a new pathway...or let’s call it, a single thread, is created for the neuro-chemicals of pleasure to be released in our brain pleasure center. Masturbation links the thread to the pleasure center. Every time that a similar behavior is repeated, a new thread is added to this tunnel. The old one is still there but new paths are constantly added. With every repeated behavior, the bundle of threads build upon themselves and bond together. After days, weeks, and years of repeated behavior, you no longer have a single thread to your pleasure center, you have a tightly wound, extremely strong cable that easily leads you to inappropriate behavior. The worst part of this extremely strong cable is that it is so strong that it overtakes thoughts, feelings, emotions, and rationale. This bundled cable to your pleasure center is almost impossible to break because it reroutes normal thinking and causes you to be impaired in your thinking. Understanding the brain chemistry also enlightened me on how to create new healthy pathways that would prevent me from relapsing and repeating the pattern of guilt and shame that I had learned so well. Rewiring your brain is possible!

(... preview the Table of Contents)

Commit your Eyes

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.“ Job 31:1 (New Living Translation)

For men, the eyes are the gateway to a variety of challenges. With the eye we can allow things to soak into our souls. The eye is like a funnel which we use to carefully pour images and scenery into our imagination. Our brains then filter and direct these images into our special brain zones where we can catalogue and critique these images and use them at any moment. It’s been said that our minds are like giant computer storage devices. (... more)

5 Sentences that will improve your Marriage

Is this really about the underwear on the floor?

The other day I did something I’ve rarely done in 18 years of marriage -- I’d developed a bad habit and my wife called me on it. Rather than defending my actions as “not that bad” or accusing her of overreacting, I simply said...Ok, I’m sorry and I won’t do that anymore. (...more)

Resist the urge to "fix" her

... you are going to have to become a great listener!

It’s been a long day at work. You come home from the grind and you greet your sweetheart at the door and all you want to do is unwind and vegetate with your remote control gripped firmly in hand. You begin flipping through the channels not really looking for anything in particular, but somehow your thumb and the remote control are in perfect harmony. You’re tranquil and serene. Nothing in the universe can disturb your tranquility. The edge starts to come off of your day until.... your wife starts talking about her day. (...more)

Porn Sunday

What do you do on Monday after your very first porn Sunday Service?

God seems to be moving more and more churches to conduct a porn Sunday service. While we are extremely excited and thankful about churches finally recognizing the need to start talking about the destructiveness and influence that pornography is having in our churches and our society, there are definitely some “best practices” that should be carefully considered. The main consideration is “what do you do on the Monday after your very first porn Sunday.” (....more)

Raising Sons & Daughters

What do you do if you catch your son viewing porn?

It was a beautiful spring afternoon. Everything in my world was at peace and I had just said to myself, “What a great day”. Famous last words. I had no more than gotten them out of my mouth and my phone rang. On the other end of the phone was my wife. She had that concerned sound in her voice. In a moment, my perfect day turned into a perfect storm. (...more)

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